A Ben-jammin' Post

Does this guy ever stop moving?  Only if you put a screen in front of him.  Otherwise, he is a busy boy.  

The biggest Ben news is that he is all registered for Kindergarten.  The days of hanging out with mom are soon to be over.  He goes back and forth about this.  On days where I have clients and he gets to watch the iPad, he'd rather not go to Kindergarten.  But on days where he is playing by himself most of the day, he is getting bored.  He is also starting to write his name well, along with other letters.  He knows all the upper and lowercase letters and (I think) the sounds they all make.  I really felt strongly that it was time for him to start school, so HERE WE GO!  

Although, I want to do reading lessons with him and the other day he told me, "Mom, reading just isn't my talent."

And, the other day Libby told him something about when he started piano and he said, "I'm not going to play piano.  I'm going to play violin."  WHAT?  Not sure where that came from, but Grandma Debbi is going to be really happy if that comes true!

Ben has a few favorite games right now.  One is that when I ask him to get on his pajamas or clothes, he wants me to guess what he is going to wear and tell it to a 3rd party.  Then, when he comes back, if I have chosen correctly I get to give him a zerbert or a kiss, or something.  I am unsure of what because it hasn't actually happened.  He has like 15 pairs of pajamas (mostly hand-me-downs and gifts), so I can never get it right.  If I get it wrong, he gets to give me a zerbert and a kiss.  I think it is a WIN WIN.  He changes his clothes with happiness and excitement, and I get a kiss either way.  

His other favorite thing right now is to ride the "elevator."  I am the elevator.  This elevator lifts him into bed at night.  My hands are the buttons and he pushes the buttons so I will pick him up and deliver him into his bed.  Creative bedtime helps me with my frequent single parent nights.

Ben took an early lead in the marathon on the treadmill, and ended up being the one to finish first.  It is a great thing for him to do when he wakes up early and I'm not ready to start parenting yet.  He gets a mile or more in before his sisters (especially the eldest) even wake up.  

Ben watches such a variety of shows it is hard to keep track.  But this week he fell in love with "Scooby Doo."  This lasted about 2 days until it made him so scared he couldn't sleep.  Funny boy.  He ended up in bed with me again last night.

Ben has been my favorite during whole30.  Early on he told his uncle Clark, "I cheat, I cheat all the time (at preschool or friends' houses)."  But I think he actually got better about this as time went on.  He was always asking me what was in certain foods that made it so we couldn't eat them.  It was like a running quiz to see if I knew what was in food.  Ben stayed alive eating fried eggs and bananas.  He probably ate a dozen eggs a week.  And at least 6 bananas.  He also ate boiled eggs, all the permutations of potatoes in olive oil, watermelon, apples, lots of veggies, and 100s of fruit leathers from Costco.  He is very excited about the reintroduction of tortilla chips and peanut butter.  He has eaten 1/2 of a giant bag of chips himself.  His bedwetting that occurred early in whole30 stopped once I stopped letting him have OJ for dinner.  

Ben can't wait to start wrestling in the fall.  I am not really looking forward to having to get another kid to another place, but that's the way it goes!  

Ben's quick smile and laugh make our house a better place to be.  I couldn't imagine life without this amazing boy.  I love you Benny!  

Taking pics of him is, well, interesting right now.  

But if I can get him to hold still, adorable!

Wearing his hat like Uncle Clark

Ben with a fruit leather in hand.  

Mom and Ben at Districts

Ben with his buddy school crew.  We learned about P for Post Office.  They all got postal hats and bags.  They delivered valentines to each other's mailboxes.  It was a chaotic but fun day.  And, possibly the last buddy school I'll ever teach.  Crazy.  

Marathon finisher!!!

I've been wanting to do fun things with his hair for ages and he usually smashes them down.  So when he asked for spikes, I delivered!  I've been letting the top of his hair grow out so I can do something kinda stylish with it.  So, it was a good day (and the hairdo lasted for 3 days!)

A Sarah Post

It baffles me that I have two daughters who are so close in age and so different in basically every way.  And yet, they love each other and play together so well.  It was worth the difficult first year to have these two together in our family.

Whole30 with Sarah was an interesting experience.  She loves lots of healthy foods, but there are also lots she doesn't like.  But she was always able to find a healthy alternative when what we were eating didn't work for her.  She did have a few low blood sugar meltdowns.  But she noticed changes in her body and overall felt pretty good on whole30.  She was really devastated to miss out on birthday treats from her classmates, so she is excited to be finishing up reintroducing foods this week.

Sarah got her report card this week.  She is in "Hi-Cap" or the highly capable class.  So it was pretty normal that her report card was mostly 4s (above grade level).  She is a confident learner who has been encouraged by an amazing team of teachers this year.  She won't stop reading!  She loves to read in the bathroom.  Sometimes I have to turn off the light to get her to come out (she got that from her dad).  She is rocking piano.  I am super proud of how quickly and easily they are adding the second hand, including playing chords.  I am using an adult book and trying to keep up with them, but they are going to pass me by.
Sarah is into walking on the treadmill to watch her shows.  She finished her "marathon" just a few days after Ben finished his.  She loves her friends at school and is kind to everyone.

Sarah also loves Story of the World and wants to listen to it every time we are in the car.  (It is Ben that isn't super into it).  When we went to the BYU folkdancers last night, she and Libby were both so excited to see dances from the places we have been learning about in Story of the World.  We played 20 questions the other day and Sarah's "people" and "places" she wanted us to guess were all from teh history she has been learning.

Sarah is becoming quite the detective as we are playing CLUE at least a couple of times a week.  Actually, the character she decides to play (and this changes every game) has been the murderer a disproportionate number of times.  But she is also the only kids to beat me, and she has done it twice!

Sarah's other favorite pastime (especially for meal time conversation) is to hear stories from the lives of everyone present.  She has asked me so many times I feel like I have run out of stories.  Sarah especially loves to hear about April Fools pranks, and the ones Geneva pulled on her kids are the most favorite.  Watch out, this year April Fools is probably going to be off the hook around here.

Love this girl!!

Her outfits astound me.  But she will wear basically anything, and that is a blessing!

Sarah with her new pierced ears.  She is so proud of them!  I'm still helping a little with her shampooing in the shower, but she is doing the rest on her own.  

Easter dress option I bought.  We didn't keep it, but she looked so cute!

We went to Learn to Skate again yesterday (Ben was at a birthday party, so it was just us girls).  Sarah is getting better.  She still isn't picking up her left foot, but she is moving with more speed!

A Libby Post

Last night we found out that one of Derek's cousins was in a very serious snowboarding accident, and he is in a coma.  It makes you think about how much you love your kids when you hear about someone possibly losing one of theirs.  So today I dedicate a post to each of my kids: the antics, the silliness, the amazingness.

Libby is all about her DIVA face lately.  She wants to make it in just about every picture.  

This has been an interesting month for Libby.  Whole30 was a big challenge for her.  Until I started making potatoes bathed in olive oil at least once a day, she wasn't going to make it.  She complained about it frequently.  She was frustrated by all the food her classmates could eat that she couldn't.  She told everyone her mom put her on a diet.  YIKES!  The lunchroom monitor stopped me in the hall to ask about this.  I explained whole30 to her and how we were trying to figure out if gluten or dairy or sugar were causing some of Libby's ADD behaviors.  Imagine my surprise when said lunchroom monitor caught Libby eating school lunch (including the cookie) on Day 29.  And, then the school called to tell me she had used all her lunch money during the past month. This meant that she had eaten school lunch 7 times during whole30.  When confronted, she admitted to eating crispy starfish sandwiches, cheeseburgers, cookies, etc.  All while complaining that she wasn't getting to eat any of this stuff and lying to me that she was eating all of her lunch.  SIGH.  MOAN. GASP.  According to the whole30 rules, if you eat even ONE BITE of something that is not whole30 compliant, you have to start over if you truly want to eliminate inflammation and test for problems with foods as you reintroduce them.  BLAMO.  Ruined.  All my hard work with the shopping, cooking and agonizing ruined.  And, worst of all, Libby lied.  Over and over.  

I don't have the energy to start whole30 again.  Not for them (I am loving eating this way for me...).  But, I love this girl. So how could I help her make a course correction?  And understand that what she did was wrong?  

Step one:  Take away her school lunch privileges.  Her lunch card has been removed from the building.

Step two:  This one came to me as I was reading the scriptures and praying:  We buried "swords" like the warriors in the Book of Mormon who had been converted to the Lord and never wanted to fight again, but we wrote sins on them that we didn't want to repeat.  I gave Libby another paper sword and asked her what she thought she should write on it.  She knew.  She wrote "lying" on it, and "buried" it under the rug.

Step three:  I asked her if she had asked Heavenly Father for forgiveness for lying.  She said no, so I encouraged her to do so.  Her sweet, simple prayer filled the room with love and the Holy Ghost.  I hope she felt that and has learned to use the Atonement.  Who knew whole30 would have so many interesting benefits.

In other news, we got her report card from both gymnastics and school.  She is working her way toward level 2 in gymnastics.  She isn't quite there, but is getting closer every session.  

Her school report card was also good.  She got mostly 3s (at grade level) with a few 2s (emerging skills).  Her 2s are a direct result of her impatience with writing and her lack of math fact memorization.  So I'm going to work on these things at home.

Libby is so bright and fun and energetic.  She loves clothes that fit her just the way she likes them (meaning she outright rejects anything that isn't just right--unfortunately she got this from me), she is super into Story of the World, trampoline jumping, scootering, friends, "ANT Farm" (a show she is watching on Netflix), playing "Heart and Soul" on the piano (she can already play the duet with her teacher), reading her photobooks, and counting down the days until whole30 reintroduction is over.  I'm so thankful she is my kid.         

Shorewood at STATE 2016

We had a fun trip to Tacoma, even though with didn't have any placers this year.  We didn't make it for the "Friday morning matches (which they both lost).  But in the afternoon session they each got a WIN!  Very decisive and amazing wins.  Then in the evening they each lost, eliminating them from the tournament, one match away from medaling.  Derek was so sad and disappointed.  It only helped a little when I reminded him that we didn't even know if we would be at state this year.  (And all the boys losses were to medalists, so they lost to legitimate wrestlers.)

We had booked a hotel room in Tacoma (having faith) so we could be there for Saturday too.  (And I also paid for 2 days of the tournament, but that's okay.)  We slept in the hotel with Grammy and Aunt Maren.  Then we ate the hotel breakfast (there were some whole30 compliant options), went swimming, and went home.  It ended up to be a gloriously sunny day and I got 1 billion things done at home (including washing my car which hadn't been washed all winter and was seriously disgusting).  So, for me it seemed like a WIN LOSE WIN!

I stressed out over bringing enough food to Tacoma to feed the kids that was whole30...(The managers have to bring in the food through the athlete gate for us, but this year I didn't feel guilty about this since we literally couldn't eat a single thing they sell at the Tacoma dome.)  The kids ate what I brought and never even asked for anything from the concessions.  It was amazing!  That is usually my least favorite part of these events, all the whining for junk food.  It was awesome to not have to deal with that!

The hotel pool was a bit hit.  Or should I say splash?

Sarah swimming

This is my attempt at getting a pic of Libby.  You can only see her hand.  All the kids love swimming, which makes me very happy!

Geneva giving Ben a sweet hairdo which he promptly smashed down flat.  

Rhaye with a W!

Fidele with a W!

Fidele had some blood time in his last match.  He is a junior, so hopefully we will get to see him here next year too!

Matchy Shorewood fans.  Libby can't find her sweatshirt though, so it says "SARAH" on the back.  

Ben loves Rhaye

Shorewood crew at STATE.  The new assistant coach this year is a Shorewood state placer from several years back, Brandon Leach.

Hi George!

The weather conspired against us this year, but we made our annual visit to George Washington (on the University of Washington campus) in the blustery rainy mess anyway.  The kids love this more every year.  It is so nice to be on campus when parking is free and it is pretty empty.  But next year we might have to take them on a day when more things are open.  It is a walk down memory lane for Derek and I, and a chance for them to get excited about college.  Usually we finish with a trip to our fav restaurant on the Ave.  Not really whole30 approved.  (And I am becoming VERY aware of how many of our traditions are tied to unhealthy food.)  So we went home for dinner, where I had to make 3 dinners.  Eggs for Ben because he was too hungry to wait for the steak, grilled flank steak for everyone, and then ladkes for the girls because they were hungry again an hour later.  And I wonder why whole30 is tiring me out?

Sweet--Not Sweet Valentine's Day

When we started Whole30 when we did, I realized we would overlap Valentine's Day.  I figured it wouldn't be a big deal.  But the entire day I smelled brownies.  Seriously, from somewhere.  And everyone posting their chocolates and yummy foods, killer.  But we made it!
And we had some heart shaped treats.  Just of the meat and fruit variety.

For breakfast?  Bacon.  Nothing sweeter.  I started planning their gifts right when we started whole30 so that they wouldn't be sad they didn't get candy.  Flashing V-day rings, earrings (for the girls) and new swimsuits.  Very exciting.  And I got Derek (or in other words myself) a giant canvas of our family Christmas picture.  

Appetizers, shrimp hearts.  Derek and I ate them all.  Our kids, who used to eat all the shrimp on the platter at parties, have decided they don't like shrimp.  Bad timing when your choices are so limited.  

And the Italian Whole30 Meatloaf.  Yum!

We're Going to State!

This wrestling season has been unpredictable.  Really.  And so, when I decided to skip regionals yesterday, it was in part because I didn't think we'd be going to state.  And--I was wrong.  We are taking 2 to state!
So now to figure out if we want to head to the Dome.  Wow.
Maren took some pics for proof.

Rhaye took 3rd

And Fidele took 4th

Whole30 Weeks 2 and 3

We are getting into the whole30 groove.  Which still means constant cooking, eating and shopping.  But, now I know what we will eat, what to shop for, and that I have to be cooking 1 or 2 meals ahead.  It is busy, busy, and yummy!  I am loving what we are eating, and for the most part not missing what we aren't.  But the kids and Derek are still struggling with this a bit more.
A few victories:  Ben is the whole30 bomb.  He is busy asking me if we can have this or that, and then answering his own questions.  He is very matter-of-fact about the whole thing.  He has been great.  (Although he did tell Clark that he cheats every day at preschool and buddy school.)
Libby was freaking out about her class party on V-day because they were going to have rootbeer floats.  Then, she realized that she could have a (naked smoothie) popsicle.  She came up with the idea on her own, so I brought one to her class for her.  And, a bunch of kids (9 others) choose that over root beer floats.  I was pretty proud.  She also loves all the potato stuff I am making.  Homemade Jojos, baked potatoes, baked potato chips.  I am feeding them all the potatoes I can to try and keep them full. (It's still not working.  They are constantly eating.)
Sarah:  This week she put on her leotard for dance and said, "I am so skinny this week!  Last week I was fat and this week I am skinny!"  I hate that she said both of those words to describe herself.  But she is noticing a change in her body.

I am noticing some deep rooted eating triggers in myself.  We had a family movie night and I was dreading it because I knew I would want popcorn.  And I wanted it.  Badly.  So I ate fruit, then pistachios and some more fruit and more pistachios.  And I still really wanted popcorn.  But I made it.

The kids are talking already about the reintroduction of food.  We are taking votes on what will come first.  But popcorn is high on the list.  Then rice, then dairy, then sugar (ack).

I wish we could afford to eat this way 90% of the time.

Usually I make cookies for their Valentine class party.  So, I used my cookie cutter for watermelon instead.  It was time consuming (although not as time consuming as making and frosting cookies) but it was cute, yummy, and healthy.  The kids gobbled up the watermelon.

Skating Time!

For years I have been wanting to get my kids skating.  But we have just been too busy.  Finally I made time for the school skating party on Thursday night.  It was a bit of a bust.  Libby is pretty good out there.  Sarah is super slow, because she just shuffles her feet.  Ben wouldn't even really give it a go because he kept falling.  Sarah even got out there and needed to go potty...and couldn't make it back in.  She left a puddle on the skate floor.  Poor thing.

So, yesterday I had decided we were taking a break from wrestling.  The post season tournaments are really fun and intense for me, but for them it usually means just watching the ipad for hours upon hours.  So, we stayed home.  We practiced piano.  We went skating!  They have a learn to skate session.  And the kids learned a lot!  Even Ben got out there and did some skating without falling.   I remembered from my grandparents the phrase, walk like a duck.  But I didn't remember what that actually meant.  Now I do.  And, if you feel yourself starting to fall, "Oh no, go low!" and squat and grab your knees.  It was great.  I highly recommend it.  I even put skates on because the kids were doing so well.  (Ben had on skates with tight wheels, so he was safer than Thursday night, but it was still major progress.)  We still have a ways to go, but we were functional skaters!    

I am hoping make this a frequent part of our Saturday.  I feel close to my grandparents--and my kids are getting a move on!  Win Win.

This is Ben on Thursday night.  No skating.  Just playing.  

Libby looking stellar on the skate floor.

This was Ben's only grumpy moment.  Somehow this is what I got a pic of.  Then I locked my phone in the locker, so I never got a pic of Sarah.  Oops.  

Raising a Successful Wrestler

So I have never raised a teenager.  And before I had kids I remember watching people with kids and saying, "I won't ever let my kids do.....", or "My kids won't....", or "I won't feed my kids....."  And they did, and I did and I have learned not to judge the parenting efforts of others.  Or have I?  Because here is what could be construed to be a judgemental post.
But what I am trying to do is explain what I have seen as I have watched 13 seasons of wrestling teams come and go.  With wrestlers who won and lost.  What did the winners do that separated them from the mediocre?   It was certainly somewhat genetic.  Some kids are born athletes who feel pressure, love the intensity, and have natural strength and talent.  But here is what surprised me most.  The "losses" that hurt usually didn't take place on the mat, but in the practice room where a wrestler didn't give it his best effort and in the hallway where he decided not to come to practice.  Or in the classroom when he decided not to pay attention, or at home when he chose video games or recreational drugs over homework.  Or when he decided to binge eat instead of go for a run and didn't make weight at the tournament.  Then if and when he shows up, he is unmotivated, unprepared, and even ineligible for competition.  And that hurts.  It hurts the coach, who has been dreaming of and working hard toward success for the wrestler, it hurts coach's wife--who shares his pains and frustrations.  It hurts the team, who are dragged down by all of these behaviors and attitudes, and it hurts the wrestler, who now has a loss in his record that is far more profound than any loss in a match.

So what are my plans to raise a winner?  To create a positive culture in my home that will translate to a positive wrestler who helps the team win, on and off the mat?

Create a culture of work.  Yes, through requiring my kids to do chores I am helping them learn the value of hard work that they will hopefully take with them to the mat.  They also watch my husband and I work very hard at home, at church, and in our jobs.

Create a culture of learning.  We are a family that values learning.  Most Sundays we have a "Sunday Seminar" where the kids teach us a few things that they are learning in school to try and help them see the value of what they are learning.  I make sure I have time in my afternoon to help them with their homework.  We have fun learning about history as we drive and listen to CDs.  This will hopefully help my kids be prepared and excited for the academic challenges of high school so that grades are never an issue.

Create a culture of STAYING THE COURSE.  One of our family sayings is "Nortons Don't Quit."  That means we finish the season (soccer), or we finish the school year (piano), or we finish the race.  This is just an expectation.  And just showing up isn't finishing.  You have to continue to give it your all to the end.

Create a culture of parent support.  It is easy to support your kids when they are doing activities you are familiar with or enjoy watching.  But, when they choose something different, we support them anyway.  I am learning about the culture of gymnastics as my daughter has chosen that over dance (after she finished the beginner dance series).  It isn't easy for me, but I am giving it my all so she feels supported in what she is doing.  If your son chooses wrestling, learn the rules, attend the matches, cheer for him!  (And trust me, I know these tournaments get LONG!)

Create a culture of limits.  Kids need parents to set limits: limits to TV, limits to video games, limits to time with friends.  Even high schoolers need help getting to bed at a reasonable time and getting home by a curfew.  It's hard to spring this on them at 16 or 17.  We are starting now so that this will continue into high school.   Setting limits with older kids is possible--involve them in the process.  (See How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, and Listen So They Will Talk).

Create a culture of healthy living.  This starts with the parents.  Mom and dad should eat right and exercise so that when a child wants to participate in athletics it is already a part of the family culture. For wrestlers this is especially important since staying on weight matters.  We have just made a huge shift in our family's eating and it wasn't easy, but it is so worth it!

Create a culture of ZERO TOLERANCE for SUBSTANCE ABUSE.  This is (so far) an easy one for us since the hardest substance used around here is the occasional Monster when my husband works a double shift.  But over the years many of his wrestlers have lost out due to issues with drugs and alcohol.  Even if you drink or smoke or use recreational pot--your wrestler is not old enough.  Do not make it available, or condone this behavior.  And pay attention to the friends your wrestler associates with.  Have frank conversations.  Call in professionals if this is already a problem for your wrestler.

Create a culture of GOOD, BETTER, BEST.  When students have a full day of school, then practice, then homework, there isn't time for much else.  It is important to still have family time, friend time, some down time, etc.  I'm not looking forward to figuring out how to fit it all in (and still get sleep), but we are starting early to help our kids learn to do the things they have to get done first, then choose the best things they can do with the rest of their time.  Wrestling season around here spans Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Mid-Winter break.  We plan to build our family traditions around wrestling practice and tournaments so we can be winners.

Create a culture where you respect authority.  It is easy to trash talk a coach, or a teacher, or principal.  But if we are in the habit of this at home, it undermines the ability to learn from said coach, or teacher, or principal.  This is an especially hard one for me when it comes to teachers since I used to be one.  But if I want my kids to respect their teachers or coaches, it starts with me.

Create a culture of open communication.  And by this I mean communication with everyone for every activity your kid is involved in.  Have an email, a cell phone, and a facebook, and check them regularly.  Stay up to date with who your athlete's friends are, and who their friends' parents are through FB.  Make it easy for coaches to update you on practice changes by getting on the team group email.  Keep your cell phone with you.  Make sure you can receive texts.    

No parents are perfect.  This list is a compilation of the great qualities I've seen in the best wrestling families that have come through my husband's program.  I have tried to assimilate them into our family culture.  Some days I'm successful, other days it's more of a work in progress.  But when it comes to creating a culture of hard work and healthy living, this Norton isn't quitting.