On Wednesday, I dropped off the girls at home after school so they could practice their piano and do homework while I picked up Ben. When I got home with Ben like 20 minutes later, they were in separate rooms of the house watching Netflix. I was impressed with their speed. We moved on to get ready for dance and then activity days, etc. That night when we sat down to do "points" (or check off the things they had done for the day), Sarah admitted that they hadn't really played piano. I was already pretty sure this was the case (they couldn't have both been done and watching movies if they really had practiced). I was thankful that she admitted the lie. (Libby wasn't as forthcoming, she wouldn't have ever admitted it.) Sarah freaked out about the consequence that they lost all their points for the day. Libby got really tight lipped. The next day at piano was "cookie week" where they get a cookie for every day that they practiced. I didn't let them have any. It hurt. They were really really sad. I hope they have learned that they can't choose the consequences. On Thursday evening, when we were all still kind of seething with frustration, I pulled Sarah into my bathroom to cut her nails. And then, on a whim, I rubbed her feet with my special foot lotion. Then I did the same for Libby. And there was some serious healing in that lotion. Libby rubbed my feet too. And I think we all felt we could move past the mistake, accept the consequences and move on.
One other interesting discussion came out of this. Derek was super frustrated by Sarah's response to the mistake and the punishment. I was super frustrated by Libby's. I stepped back and realized that Sarah responds like I do. She hit herself on the forehead and said, "Stupid, stupid, stupid," over and over. (I don't usually actually hit my forehead, but I do get down on myself for my mistakes.) Libby got quiet and angry that she got caught. That would be Derek's way. So now we know that I will deal with Sarah, because I get her response. And I'll let him deal with Libby, because I don't get her. And since I deal with it most of the time, I'll just think about it from this new perspective, and honor the fact that they are different.
And maybe they'll never lie again (HA!). At least not this week?
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