The last two weeks have been a combination of agonizingly slow and insanely fast. I don't know how that is possible, but it is. I came back from Utah, taught for 4 days and then flew back for Friday-Sun. It was so hard to focus on life when my heart was in Utah with my mom and dad. But, lessons don't write themselves. And, since I'm teaching a split this year, and teaching math differently than I did last year, it's 3 new lessons to plan every day. I thought my brain was already maxed. Ha!
They closed my mom's chest on Thursday the 29th, and took off all sedation on Friday the 30th, the day I arrived. So I knew that she might not wake up while I was there. And she didn't. That was hard. I really wanted to see her. And the doctors kept talking about low platelets and a slight fever, and no, they wouldn't be removing the breathing tube yet. But I could be there, and hold her hand. I got to see the IV tree go from 3 layers all pumping stuff in and out to mostly dark as she needed fewer meds.
I got to braid her hair while they "dangled" her for Physical Therapy. The therapists were impressed with her muscle tone and before I left she was starting to help hold herself up a bit.
It was so good to see my nephews and nieces. I went to a play with my dad in my mom's place. I made birthday treats for my brother.
I held myself together reasonably well while I was there. I came home and fell apart. Poor Derek.
I made it through work and dance on Monday. Then by Tuesday my head was raging. My office manager found a sub for me in the afternoon so I could do laundry, go to the chiropractor and just mentally recover. I stuffed my christmas cards, deciding that I just couldn't write a letter this year...if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all a wise person once said. I need some time and space before I can write about all of this in a Christmas letter. Maybe next year.
After my Tuesday break from life, I resumed normal functioning. I called my sister Rachel for a good update on Thursday night. My mom's eyes were her own again! She was trying to communicate (even with the breathing tube). And then yesterday, the doctors decided to remove the breathing tube. My mom's lungs were strong enough to go it alone.
Yesterday I got to FaceTime with her. It was hard to see her so weak and tired. But she said, "I love you." Best words I've ever heard. It'll be two weeks before I'm supposed to go back for Christmas. I don't know if I can wait that long. I just want to see her again. I want to give her a hug.
This has been a brutal few weeks. I'm not sure I'll ever be the same again.
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Holding my mom's hand last weekend. |
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Her new braid hair-do. |
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Playing with Devin at the hospital. I forgot how much you have to watch kids his age. While I was chatting he started filling water cups and having a great time dumping water from cup to cup--creating a lake in the process. Aunt fail. |
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But I was busy holding this little guy! So cute! |
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Ruger and I watched the Pac-12 Championship game together. Go Huskies! |
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Lightsaber battles! |
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I felt like I wanted some pictures of the rooms we spent so many hours in--waiting. |
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The view from my mom's room. |
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Watching my dad talk to my mom was one of the most precious parts of my week. He so tenderly cared for her and rubbed lotion on her hands and feet. It was so sweet to watch. I drove to the hospital with him all 3 days I was there. We would both get so anxious on the way down--afraid she had had a bad night. But each morning I was there--she was about the same--no bad news. Which is so much better than the first week we were there! |
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Back in Seattle Grammy and Grandpa Norton helped the kids have a wonderful weekend. I'm so thankful for all of my parents. |
I'm not sure about the next steps for my mom this week. They need to put in a permanent pacemaker (the part of the surgery that was supposed to prevent a-fib from reoccurring obviously did not work as her heart is in a-fib all the time). Then they can remove all her tubes and she can leave the ICU, hopefully. I'll get another update from my family in Utah later today.
I am so thankful that my mom is recovering. I cried lots of tears of joy yesterday. What an emotional ride.