Change is Hard

I taught school for a district with an amazing contractual provision for mommies. I got 2 years of childcare leave for each child, that stacked on top of each other. So with the addition of our third child, I could have been on leave for another 3 years. BUT, my certification expires in June. So I looked at my options. A very expensive, very time consuming pro-certification that would buy me 5 more years, or give up my contract. I had until March 15th to write the official email giving up my contract--and I had officially decided a couple of months ago what I would do. But writing the email giving up my contract was still one of the hardest emails I have ever written. I LOVED teaching. But I LOVE my kids and I want to be with them now. What will be will be. Some other teacher who is in the right phase of life needs the .6 continuing FTE that I was sitting on, selfishly wanting to hold on to that part of my life that I LOVED so much. I wrote the email and went to my room and sobbed for about 20 minutes. I shed another tear or two during yoga and I am crying now. Man, I loved teaching. But I am teaching really important lessons right now to the most important students I will ever have. I know that it was the right thing to do, but sometimes the doing the right thing is still painful.